In the Country Song, Hot Mama, Trace Adkins confronts something all marriage relationships go through:

You’re doin’ all you can to get in them old jeans.
You want that body back, you had at seventeen.
Baby, don’t get down; don’t worry ’bout a thing.
‘Cause the way you fill ‘em out, hey, that’s all right with me.
I don’t want the girl you used to be.
An’ if you ain’t noticed, the kids are fast asleep,

- Trace Adkins, Hot Mama Lyrics

We all know that bodies change, they never stay the same.  For the wife and mother, this is even more dramatic.  It seems that, for nine months, the soon to be mom is putting on weight, and then is expected to lose it all in the first few days after the baby makes its appearance.

Let alone the fact that there’s “sympathy weight” that the man gets, metabolisms going down, less time to get out and work out—it seems only the natural progression that the husband and the wife will put on weight.

But should that effect the relationship, does it?

Weight And Attraction

Men and women find different things attractive, but they usually revolve around money, appearance, and perceived power.  I don’t believe that either sex finds being overweight attractive, but men are more picky in this area than women:

Nearly half of men questioned in the poll of 70,000 people said they would ditch a partner who gained weight, compared to only 20 percent of women. 

[Half of men would ditch woman who gained weight: poll]

Which may seem surprising, but I’ve read enough jokes and forum postings where people have talked about how much weight their wife had gained compared to those that they see around them.

Men are quick to judge in this area, but part of the problem, I believe, is the weight that they themselves have gained.

Thank You Medical Industry

You see, many men have also put on weight, it’s just more socially acceptable.  While some women stress over the impact of a candy bar, most men indulge in soda pop and other sweets with abandon.  It’s almost a badge of honor to be able to “eat whatever I want.”

And we have a pharmaceutical industry built around this concept—to support the heart problems, cholesterol problems, and to give you a pill for weight loss.  Many of the people on maintenance medications would not have to be on them if they had a better diet!

What Can Be Done?

Believe it or not, you can’t force your partner to work out.  You can’t make them eat better.  You can, however, eat better and work out yourself.

A funny thing will happen if you do.  You’ll find that as you lose weight, and are more attractive, your partner will want to be more attractive as well—and have your energy level.  You might find that they start eating better and they start prioritizing working out.

Work on it together, and see if you can help both of you save money and live a better, healthier life!

Ready to say, “I do”? Make sure you say “I do” to the 19 Pound Marriage Weight Gain, which also comes with a house mortgage and a spouse who leaves Dr. Pepper cans strolled across the house! Hooray for marriage!

And kids? Oh, wait til I tell you about that…

It seems like every stage in life you gain a significant amount of weight – or at least I do. I gained the Freshman 15. I gained the 19 after marriage – thankfully, I was a size 2 in high school, so the weight gain fits me fairly well, but, yes, I still do have a pair of size 4 jeans in my closet that I use as “inspiration” (yeah, right).

Now, Hubby is not a beanpole by any means, either. He calls it his “happy weight,” though, meaning that he eats because he’s happy that he’s with me. Well, that’s all fine and dandy – but I don’t like trying to squeeze into my khakis and discovering that I can’t wear them (which happened last week).

So it’s time to diet. We plan to go on Weight Watchers next month (it really helped Hubby before we got married), but before then, WE are TRYING to eat healthy.

Repeat: WE and TRYING.

It’s really hard to control what Hubby and I eat because we disagree on so many foods. He likes steak, I like hamburgers. He wants pizza, I want sausage and summer squash. But, for the most part, he does eat well.

That is, when I’m around.

We’ve limited our coke and diet coke intake to two a day (for me, it’s two a week, since I drink coffee) because my best friend, a nutritionist, said that diet cokes often make you feel hungrier. And we try not to snack during the day, but if we do, it’s something healthy.

So, after about a month or two of this, I noticed that neither one of us seemed to be losing much weight. I figured mine was from portion control (and the fact that women have a harder time losing weight than men), but I couldn’t understand why Hubby wasn’t losing weight.

Until I called him at work…

We were on the phone, and he paused for a moment to take a bite of…something.

“Honey,” I said sweetly, “what are you eating?”

Pause.

“Honey,” I repeated, a little more forcefully this time, “what are you eating?”

“It’sthesmallestSnickersbareverandIjustneededalittlepickmeupanditwasfree.” The excuses began pouring out of Hubby’s mouth, one after the other.

“You’re not supposed to eat candy!” I accused.

“It’s just a little one, just a snack size!” Hubby argued.

The thing is, weight – or, more correctly, my weight – is a big issue to me, and I need help with it. I know what to eat, and I know how to exercise; I just need that extra push from someone — *coughHubbycough* — to help me. It’s so hard when he says, “Oh, let’s just order a pizza tonight” or “Baby, let’s just watch this movie instead of going for a walk. I’m tired, and so are you.”

I know he thinks that my weight is fine and I shouldn’t worry. How do I know this? Well, he tells me practically every single day. He even took the batteries out of our scale (gotta find those…). But when I’m not able to zip up my khakis for work and cannot afford to go out and buy a whole new wardrobe for my new size, something needs to be done. Not just so I can fit into my clothes, but also so we can live long, healthy lives and instill good, healthy values in our children.

So why is this such a struggle?