Ready to say, “I do”? Make sure you say “I do” to the 19 Pound Marriage Weight Gain, which also comes with a house mortgage and a spouse who leaves Dr. Pepper cans strolled across the house! Hooray for marriage!

And kids? Oh, wait til I tell you about that…

It seems like every stage in life you gain a significant amount of weight – or at least I do. I gained the Freshman 15. I gained the 19 after marriage – thankfully, I was a size 2 in high school, so the weight gain fits me fairly well, but, yes, I still do have a pair of size 4 jeans in my closet that I use as “inspiration” (yeah, right).

Now, Hubby is not a beanpole by any means, either. He calls it his “happy weight,” though, meaning that he eats because he’s happy that he’s with me. Well, that’s all fine and dandy – but I don’t like trying to squeeze into my khakis and discovering that I can’t wear them (which happened last week).

So it’s time to diet. We plan to go on Weight Watchers next month (it really helped Hubby before we got married), but before then, WE are TRYING to eat healthy.

Repeat: WE and TRYING.

It’s really hard to control what Hubby and I eat because we disagree on so many foods. He likes steak, I like hamburgers. He wants pizza, I want sausage and summer squash. But, for the most part, he does eat well.

That is, when I’m around.

We’ve limited our coke and diet coke intake to two a day (for me, it’s two a week, since I drink coffee) because my best friend, a nutritionist, said that diet cokes often make you feel hungrier. And we try not to snack during the day, but if we do, it’s something healthy.

So, after about a month or two of this, I noticed that neither one of us seemed to be losing much weight. I figured mine was from portion control (and the fact that women have a harder time losing weight than men), but I couldn’t understand why Hubby wasn’t losing weight.

Until I called him at work…

We were on the phone, and he paused for a moment to take a bite of…something.

“Honey,” I said sweetly, “what are you eating?”

Pause.

“Honey,” I repeated, a little more forcefully this time, “what are you eating?”

“It’sthesmallestSnickersbareverandIjustneededalittlepickmeupanditwasfree.” The excuses began pouring out of Hubby’s mouth, one after the other.

“You’re not supposed to eat candy!” I accused.

“It’s just a little one, just a snack size!” Hubby argued.

The thing is, weight – or, more correctly, my weight – is a big issue to me, and I need help with it. I know what to eat, and I know how to exercise; I just need that extra push from someone — *coughHubbycough* — to help me. It’s so hard when he says, “Oh, let’s just order a pizza tonight” or “Baby, let’s just watch this movie instead of going for a walk. I’m tired, and so are you.”

I know he thinks that my weight is fine and I shouldn’t worry. How do I know this? Well, he tells me practically every single day. He even took the batteries out of our scale (gotta find those…). But when I’m not able to zip up my khakis for work and cannot afford to go out and buy a whole new wardrobe for my new size, something needs to be done. Not just so I can fit into my clothes, but also so we can live long, healthy lives and instill good, healthy values in our children.

So why is this such a struggle?

Noah was sitting around the house one morning when his wife, Laura, came out of the bathroom after her shower.  Noah glanced over the top of his paper and said, “Good morning” which Laura ignored on her way over to something on the counter.

Shrugging it off, Noah returned to the paper and his bowl of cereal.  Turning, Laura started reading from her magazine.

“It says here,” she began, “That most men would like their wives to look like they did when they married them, and that’s part of the reason that men cheat.  Do I look as good as when we got married?”

Noah didn’t know what to say.

You Won’t Be 17 Forever

The truth is that you will change.  Your body will change—especially after having children—and while it’s never good to be unhealthy, you should not judge yourself based on your wedding pictures.

Many women get into trouble because they are not comfortable with the way that they look to an unhealthy degree.  Yes, men and women need exercise, and should lose weight, but unhealthy obsession about trying to get back to a dress size after you’ve moved past it can put stress on your relationship as well as your life—and is all around unhealthy.

Noah’s Response

“Well, honey, you were one hot mama when I married you—“ he started.  Her eyes focused in, ready for the kill, “But you could stand to lose a few pounds.”  He said this as he ran out the door.

Well, maybe next time Noah will learn to assure Laura of his love for her.  In the meantime, dear reader, don’t get trapped in this lie.