Lies Wives Believe
A Satirical Look at Married Life
Archive for the 'Wife' Category
Husbands Like To Watch Births on Television
Author: MInTheGap
Birth. It’s a miraculous time—where a new life that’s been inside the mother makes an appearance in the wide world. The miracle of life never gets old. Each one of my children is precious beyond belief, and I wouldn’t trade them.
But if you asked me to sit down and watch a filming of the event, I’d pass.
To me, the birth process should be rated R or X, not something that is shown in TLC during primetime—over and over and over again.
read comments (4)What Happened to the Gifts?
Author: MInTheGap
Before you were married, it seemed that you were the center of his world. He couldn’t help but want to be with you non-stop. He couldn’t imagine doing anything with out you. You celebrated minor anniversaries—Oh look, honey, it’s 3 months after the first time you took me to the dentist for the first time!
He remembered your birthday. He brought you gifts out of the blue. Money was no object. He remembered to brush his teeth before trying to kiss you—not that you cared!
It’s Possible to have a Clean House
Author: MInTheGap
Though I’m sure many won’t admit it, most women I know believe that it’s possible to have an immaculate house. And what reinforces this idea is how, when they go to visit other people’s houses, they always find someone else’s house to be cleaner than theirs.
The problem is that they don’t see that it took these ladies hours of frantic cleaning before they’d even let you near their house. Couple that with the fact that this is the case every time you visit, and your mental picture of your house is probably of your house at its worst, and you have a recipe for disaster.
Wives, What’s Leading You?
Author: Rachel
A few weeks back I was reading A Voice in the Wind, a historical fiction work by Francine Rivers that is set in ancient Rome. In one particular scene, the young slave girl boldly tells her arrogant young master that all people are slaves to something. He laughs at her and says, “And who do you say I am a slave to?” She realizes she’s spoken out of turn and quickly answers, “To Rome,” although there are many other options she could consider. He laughs again and tells her, “No, if I am a slave to anything, it is a slave to pleasure.” Read the rest of this entry »
Why Don’t You Want to Spend Time With Me?!!
Author: MInTheGap
Wives assume that if their husband ever needs to go do "man stuff", it’s because he doesn’t love her and doesn’t want to spend time with her or if he doesn’t want to go shopping, etc. with her it’s automatically because he doesn’t love her.
The opposite of this would be for a husband assuming that because his wife doesn’t want to play video games with him, that she doesn’t want to watch a baseball game or that she doesn’t want to go to the hardware store that she doesn’t love him.
Let’s Talk
Author: MInTheGap
We all know that communication is a good thing. Such a good thing, experts say, that the more we do the better our relationships will be—the better our marriages will be.
But what does it mean to communicate?
One of the lies that wives believe is that in order to communicate with their husband they have to spend multiple hours talking with him. I mean, if it works for communicating with mom, it must work for communicating with him, right?
Love and Respect
Author: MInTheGap
Wives, you’ll never totally understand your husband. And the most frustrating realization is that at just about the time you think you have him figured out, something will change. He’ll have a new interest, or he’ll behave in a way you couldn’t predict.
But one thing is certain. He values your respect more than he values your love. Which is the subject of today’s lie that wives believe:
Wives believe that showing their husbands love is more important than showing their husbands respect.
What, I Don’t Look Like I Did When I Married You?!
Author: MInTheGap
Noah was sitting around the house one morning when his wife, Laura, came out of the bathroom after her shower. Noah glanced over the top of his paper and said, “Good morning” which Laura ignored on her way over to something on the counter.
Shrugging it off, Noah returned to the paper and his bowl of cereal. Turning, Laura started reading from her magazine.
“It says here,” she began, “That most men would like their wives to look like they did when they married them, and that’s part of the reason that men cheat. Do I look as good as when we got married?”
Noah didn’t know what to say.
You Won’t Be 17 Forever
The truth is that you will change. Your body will change—especially after having children—and while it’s never good to be unhealthy, you should not judge yourself based on your wedding pictures.
Many women get into trouble because they are not comfortable with the way that they look to an unhealthy degree. Yes, men and women need exercise, and should lose weight, but unhealthy obsession about trying to get back to a dress size after you’ve moved past it can put stress on your relationship as well as your life—and is all around unhealthy.
Noah’s Response
“Well, honey, you were one hot mama when I married you—“ he started. Her eyes focused in, ready for the kill, “But you could stand to lose a few pounds.” He said this as he ran out the door.
Well, maybe next time Noah will learn to assure Laura of his love for her. In the meantime, dear reader, don’t get trapped in this lie.
Your Husband Doesn’t Love You
Author: MInTheGap
Here’s the first lie that I’ve written about a wife might believe that wasn’t originated by her husband. That her husband doesn’t love her.
Now, first, it’s certainly possible that it’s gotten to the point—the tragic point—in some marriages where he may truly have stopped loving her. What I’m writing about isn’t this case.
I’m talking about those mental moments when a wife starts believing that her husband doesn’t love her based on some of the things that are going on around her, or because he hasn’t said it in a while.
While this is a cause for concern (meaning that you should find a good time to sit down and talk to him about it), it could just be that things have gotten in the way of what used to be.
My advice? Seek some time to tell him your needs and what you’ve been sensing, but not in an accusing tone, but in a tome which can build a bridge. You may find that he’s felt it too.
Will You Recognize Me Without Makeup?
Author: MInTheGap
Rachel gives us the second lie that wives believe, coming from a fictitious husband:
Wife: "Honey, is it OK if I don’t put on make-up today?"
Hubby: "I didn’t even notice you weren’t wearing any."
Whoops! I don’t think anything says “I’m not really paying attention to you” than saying that you don’t think she looks different after all the time she spends in front of the mirror1.
- And admit it ladies, you do spend a lot of time in front of the mirror! [↩]