Lies Wives Believe
A Satirical Look at Married Life
Archive for the 'Wife' Category
Why does my hair even matter?
Author: Lois Lane II
I’ll never forget the day I cut my hair.
Drastically cut, I mean. I let my hair grow out in college, and for our wedding, it was a great length – not too long, but definitely past the shoulders.
Probably three weeks after my husband and I got married, I chopped it off. It was unintentional. I wanted something that hit right at the bottom of my neck, and, as I had a new home over an hour away from my former stylist, I decided to find another one.
BIG MISTAKE.
read comments (0)I Need To Be Like a Man
Author: MInTheGap
One of the foundational lies that wives believe centers on the fact of what women are. As long as wives believe the following, they will never have fruitful relationships or joy:
[M]en are smarter, have all the power, and are more important, so if we want to have influence we should be more like them – Sheri Dew [Hat Tip: A Good Husband]
This is one of the core tenants of the modern feminist movement. Rather than glorying in what women and wives are, the feminists focused rather on looking at what men are and fell for the lie that if they were more like them, then they could experience the freedom that they believe men enjoyed.
It’s the “grass is always greener on the other side of the fence” all over again.
Think before you speak
Author: Lois Lane II
We were in the car the other night, riding to dinner with some friends, when Hubby said something SPECIFICALLY to get under my skin. You know the comment. The one where you really can’t say anything about it because a) well, it is a PRIVATE thought that only Hubby knows, and you don’t want to let the cat out of the bag and b) let’s not start a fight in front of friends.
So what did I do in this situation? Simmered.
Does the thought REALLY count?
Author: Lois Lane II
It’s Dec. 25. You unwrap your gift and find a mustard-green and camo-green horizontally striped sweater. Oh, yes, it’s certainly going to make those extra 10 pounds you gained during the few weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas really stand out. Fabulous. And there’s your husband, unwrapping his own PlayStation 3 games and not having a clue that you’re displeased with his gift.
The In-Law Conundrum
Author: Lois Lane II
Love ‘em or hate ‘em, but the majority of us have in-laws – and, sometimes, we are too close in proximity to them, as well.
I told my husband the other day that I didn’t think it was quite fair that he had one mother-in-law and I had four. “Four?” he repeated, confused for a moment.
“Yes,” I replied in a matter-of-fact tone. “Your biological mother, your aunt, who is closer than your mother; your stepmother; and your grandmother, who says she raised you.”
See? FOUR. And you thought YOU had it rough. :p
Trusting through trials
Author: Lois Lane II
Trials will come in marriage. They do. They’re like the unwanted houseguest (think your in-laws…lol) that come over unannounced and stay for as long as they like.
Hubby and I each have gone through our own personal trials. One of my biggest hurdles to overcome was, frankly, getting kicked out of grad school (TECHNICALLY, I was not kicked out, but I was asked to consider other options). I felt like a failure, and I had no idea how much I wallowed in self-loathing for an entire year before everything burst open like a dam. I remember the day well; it was in the summer, and Hubby and I were driving down the backroads one Sunday afternoon. And… the dam burst.
Prayer Matters, Part II
Author: Lois Lane II
I hate when Hubby travels.
I hate worrying about his flight, hate worrying that he won’t have a good time, hate being alone with my Chihuahua at night and thinking that the Boogey Man is going to get us. I hate him being gone.
I get fairly despondent – especially during his long trips (a week or longer).
The dog even gets nervous. During the first few nights, she’ll sit on Hubby’s side of the bed until midnight, waiting for him to come home. Some nights the two of us will just watch TV until bedtime. We never watch sad or scary movies, though. Don’t want nightmares.
The worst part, though, was the night. Superdog, thinking she heard her “daddy” outside, would bolt from under the covers and bark her head off for 10 minutes, which would, therefore, scare me to death, as I was afraid someone was outside (which is fairly ridiculous; we live in a safe subdivision and know many of our neighbors).
I have an overactive imagination – it’s impressive all the monsters I can imagine would come eat me during the night. When Superdog barks (and sometimes it would be two or three times a night), it wakes me up, freaks me out, and then neither of us sleep.
Hurmph.
The Pull Of Children
Author: Rachel
Wives, what takes up most of your time?
If you’re a mother answering that question, the answer would probably be your children.
Kids take time. A lot of time. Sometimes my husband and I sit around in exhaustion after we’ve finally gotten our toddler off to bed and go, “What did we do with all our time before she came along?”
And neither one of us can remember.
As wonderful a blessing as children can be, there can sometimes be a downside that is easily avoidable but often not considered.
Children can take a toll on a marriage. Not so much in the extra work or the shorter nights. Having children drastically cuts down on the times husbands and wives get to spend together – alone.
Most parents don’t even consider this because they are so overjoyed at having a baby – which, don’t get me wrong, they should be overjoyed.
A marriage is a relationship – the greatest relationship we have short of the one we have with God. But as with any relationship, marriages take time, investment, sacrifice on the part of both parties, and commitment. I’m sure everyone has a story of the “friend I lost contact with” because the effort to keep the relationship going wasn’t put forth.
I want to examine some lies women believe about marriage and their children.
Prayer Matters- Part I
Author: Lois Lane II
Dana was talking the other day about how she and her husband have never fought — not once in their two year marriage. They may have had disagreements, but he has never raised his voice, nor have they ever been truly angry at each other.
Well, that might be Dana and her husband, but that’s certainly not me and mine.
I think some women go into marriage believing that once they say “I do” that all of their dreams are going to come true. Like saying those two little words is some magic formula for instant happiness. It’s not, and I sympathize with women who find themselves suddenly waking up next to a boy with bad morning breath, holey underwear, and cold feet. The man of their dreams leaves water stains on their new tables, food caking on the dishes, and only takes the garbage out after you’ve asked him three times.
I frankly could not believe what I had gotten myself into after three months of marriage. I’m not sure exactly WHAT I was expecting, but it wasn’t what I got. I cried, I’ll admit. I cried a lot. But we refused to give up. We went to church regularly. We prayed together. We made an effort to make the marriage work.
And it has. 
Spousal Support
Author: Lois Lane II
Sometimes I just need a hug.
No words. No kisses. Just a great big, long-lasting hug.
Does anyone else ever have those days?
Recently, Superman and I have undertaken a HUGE endeavor: we are writing a fiction book. I’ve done most of the writing, which, he said, makes him feel like he isn’t contributing enough — but he is so wrong.