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The Power of Femininity
Men and women were meant to compliment each other. They are not the same, and no matter how much the culture would like to equate them, they will never be the same.
Physically, her brain is wired differently. As you learn on any ladies anti-perspirant commercial, it may be “strong enough for a man”, but “it’s ph balanced for a woman.”
They have different needs, different values and though there may be some statistical anomalies, there are very strong patterns in each sex.
It’s our culture that’s attempted to lump them together, and it’s our culture that’s wrong.
Now, even if you believe that femininity and masculinity are socially constructed, this question is still relevant: What does our society value most? Or better yet, who is more admirable? A woman who is the CEO of a major corporation with no husband to slow her down, or a woman who is married with five children and no career? Which one of those made you cringe? Made you feel more pity? My guess is the latter.
As Wendy Shalit explained in her book A Return to Modesty: Discovering the Lost Virtue
[affiliate link mine], nowadays femininity sadly makes us squirm. In fact, in society today, we are raging war against femininity and trying to pretend it doesn’t actually exist. But the saddest part of all is that society can only become a much more moral, loving place when feminine values of uniting and nurturing are the objective, not only divide and conquer. It’s no wonder why women often feel so unfulfilled by the hook-up culture, and feel at a loss when they do wish and try to seek commitment. It isn’t deeply fulfilling to have detached sexual experiences with men, and because society doesn’t value feminine ideals, it’s exceedingly difficult to find commitment in a masculine world where detachment is synonymous with freedom. [Loving Only Lucy]
And it’s true because each sex defines things differently, and women are now told that they must be men to be free, we risk losing something very special.
Though I believe that we will not lose it long, for at some point women will realize that they have been cheated out of being uniquely themselves—won’t they?
3 Responses to “The Power of Femininity”
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January 20th, 2011 at 9:04 pm
[...] They have different needs, different values and though there may be some statistical anomalies, there are very strong patterns in each sex. [The Power of Femininity] [...]
February 22nd, 2011 at 11:32 am
I pray that they will!
At first I thought this was the same article as one on ITM, but then I realized they were related but different. Both are excellent articles. When I was at Bible School our Dean of Women shared about the power of femininity in a dorm meeting. (She really has a passion about conveying it’s importance to young women.) I remember most of the girls just didn’t “get it.” They just couldn’t seem to see what’s so freeing about embracing your God-given femininity.
#Feb2011NCARating
October 29th, 2011 at 11:21 pm
“It’s no wonder why women often feel so unfulfilled by the hook-up culture, and feel at a loss when they do wish and try to seek commitment. It isn’t deeply fulfilling to have detached sexual experiences with men”
As a Christian girl in my mid 20s, I have to disagree with that statement. I think every woman is different and we cannot all be bundled together. While I find that type of behavior wrong, I know for a fact that many girls today don’t take sex too seriously and therefore they don’t feel deep guilt or remorse or unfulfillment about having casual sex. Because to them it’s not that serious – it’s just “having fun”.
I am in grad school which mainly consists of young adults in their 20s and 30s. There are girls here who genuinely enjoy the hook-up culture and now it’s often times the girl who will not call the guy back after a casual hook-up. EVEN WITHIN THE HOOK-UP CULTURE, GENDER ROLES ARE BLURRING.
When it’s a guy the girl only wants to sleep with once (usually because he was not that good in bed or perhaps unattractive) he is referred to as “a throwaway guy” because the girl only “used” him once and she’s not interested in sleeping with him again. If they deem the guy acceptable to have as a regular hook-up but not as a boyfriend and the girl doesn’t want him to meet her friends or family they refer to him as a “booty call” or a guy that they “ride and hide” because he is hidden away and never officially recognized as a boyfriend.
And then of course there are “friends with benefits” in which a female and male are friends who also sleep with each other and are usually very discreet about it. Just in 2011 there have been 2 major Hollywood films about these types of relationships – one starring Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman and the other starring Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake.
Of course no guy wants to be a “throwaway” guy or a “ride them and hide them” type of guy. Because it’s demeaning for them. But this is backlash for the treatment a lot of girls have received when guys started to participate in the “player” culture where the goal is to “pump and dump” as many women as possible. Basically, women are now giving as good as they were getting.
I agree that society is deeply lacking moral values and virtue. And the media is only making things worse. But I think it goes both ways – both men and women are deeply lacking moral values.
TV shows like “Two & a Half Men” glorify male promiscuity, especially in the days when Charlie Sheen was the star. And like all things – voting, driving, smoking, college – women eventually catch up to the men. This is inevitable.
Now we have BOTH genders partaking in these types of behaviors. And what we need to do is to start teaching young people that this is not only immature but dangerous to your health and completely immoral.