Lies Wives Believe
A Satirical Look at Married Life
Archive for June, 2009
5 Common Flirting Myths
Author: MInTheGap
Flirting. It could be used as a derogatory term1 to say that you’re never serious about a person or a relationship. It could be something that you do without knowing it to have fun or to gain attention.
However, there are a lot of flirting myths out there, and we’re here to tackle 5 of them today—right before your very eyes. So sit back, smile, and look at these below:
- She’s such a flirt! [↩]
read comments (1)His Least Favorite Food
Author: MInTheGap
You don’t ever do this, do you? Do you cook his least favorite meal on purpose to try to teach him a lesson?
There is a lot of truth to the statement that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. So if you’re not taking the time to learn how to cook something well, you’re likely hurting your own relationship.
Hey, don’t look at me, I’m just trying to help you out!
Not Tonight
Author: MInTheGap
The truth is, the two of you were made for each other—both physically and as the cliche goes. Part of the marriage covenant means being physically available to one another, and though you may believe that you’re making him want it more by withholding—or that you’re teaching him a lesson, you are hurting the physical glue that helps bind the two of you together.
Seriously, physical intimacy does so much to hold the two of you together—and it is something that is pure inside the marriage relationship!
You Just Don’t Measure Up
Author: MInTheGap
“Oh? Let me tell me tell you what my husband did the other day!” Said Krista.
“What was that?” asked Julie.
“Well, we all went out for something to eat, and right in the middle of dinner my husband let out this loud burp!”
“Really! You must have been so embarrassed!”
“Yes, but he wasn’t. I tell you, I think he enjoyed making a fool out of me. My husband can’t seem to get anything right…”
“Same here. Why, just the other day, he put my brand new pan in dishs soap—nearly ruined it. I told him to leave the dishwashing to me from now on.”
My Way or Divorce Court
Author: MInTheGap
"That’s funny," remarked Laura, Noah is the same way.
“I just can’t understand him sometimes,” added Tracy. “At one point it sounds like we’re totally on the same page. We read each other’s mind. But then all of a sudden—“
“—he does something so stupid. Then he claims it the only logical way, right?”
“Exactly.”
“Men. I don’t know why they’re that way, but they just don’t understand that we women know the right way to do things more often than not. I don’t know how many times I have to get Noah to come out of his workshop and do something around the house. And don’t get me started about how he doesn’t ask for directions,” Laura laughed.
“But does he listen to you? Because I think that sometimes Adam tunes me out.”
“I told him early on that it was either my way or the highway, so he’d better listen. Sure, I let him make a few decisions, but for the big ones I have to have the last word.”
Remember The Children
Author: MInTheGap
Something happens when a woman becomes a mom. The dad loves his children, spends time with his children, but is still a man. A woman changes, and is much more easily focused on her children than on her husband.
It may be that the wife is more invested in the children. She’s more nurturing, probably spends more time with them. They were a part of her insides once, and they have a special bond.
The problem is that the primary relationship that a wife needs to maintain is the one with her husband—both for their sake and the child’s sake.
Your Pledge
The truth is, your marriage will not survive if you do not give each other the attention you pledged to each other. When you said “forsaking all others” that included your children in a way. You promised to have a primary relationship with your spouse. Yes, you love your children and need to show them that love. But that love cannot come at the cost of losing your relationship with your husband.
He Should Know Better!
Author: MInTheGap
“Every afternoon it’s the same thing,” Karin told her friend Kristin. “David comes home from doing the chores and he doesn’t take his boots off. They’ve got all kinds of stuff on them, but he tracks them through the house. Doesn’t he know that I spend all kinds of time cleaning it!?”
“I know, my husband is the same way. I don’t know how many times I’ve told him to put the toilet seat down when he’s done using it, and he always leaves it up. The other night I was trying to be kind—so when I got up in the dark and tried to use the bathroom without turning on the lights and waking him up, I almost fell right in!”
“Men. They should know better than to act this way!”
It’s Not Really That Bad
Author: MInTheGap
Coming in from a rough afternoon, Noah sits down on the couch, clearly dismayed. When Laura walks by on her way to the kitchen, she sees him and asks him, “What’s wrong?”
“Everything. Nothing that I do seems to work.”
“Oh come on, you’re blowing things out of proportion.”
“No, seriously, everything I did today broke. The potion I tried to create smells like my stinky socks, the television I tried to fix broke… Some days I wonder if I’m just not cut out for this line of work.”
“Well, it’ll get better with time, Noah.” Laura turns and walks away.