Lies Wives Believe

How close is too close to the opposite sex?

I’m always surprised when I hear women talking about guy pals, and this may just be me. But there’s always a nagging in the back of my mind when I hear girlfriends talking about going to lunch with or calling up their boy friends (two words, not one). And I wonder, “What does your husband think about this?”

I was a flirt in college. I was. I had lots of guy friends who I hung out with, but when I got married, all of that was put to a stop. It’s not that I alienated myself from my guy friends, but we weren’t as close anymore, and, in my mind, we shouldn’t be. I had chosen my best guy friend, and if I was going to call, go shopping with, or go grab a cup of coffee with any guy, it was going to be my husband.

This is really hard for me to write about because I have been hit on by married men. Who knew I was married. And it very much upset me because I couldn’t understand why they thought I would EVER even flirt with adultery. That may be why I am so cautious with guy/girl relationships, because I’ve been through this. I was a natural flirt, but the flirt has since been put into one-man focus: with my husband.

Girls, our marriages are constantly under attack, and it’s not just the guys who have temptations. That cute guy at work who brings you little presents like coffee or chocolate? CUT HIM OFF. The guy at the gym who always smiles at you? CUT HIM OFF. Your husband’s friend who comes by even when your husband’s not at home? CUT HIM OFF. Don’t even play with this fire, ladies.

Our preacher once said that he feels like he may come off as rude sometimes to women because he is so overly cautious and does not want to be seen in ANY way as flirting with anyone other than his wife. I think I may be in the same boat, but it’s because I do want to preserve my marriage. I do want to cultivate our love so that it continues to grow. And I don’t want anything to stand in that way.

A friend of mine had a bad experience a while back when her husband’s friend starting sending her sexual messages. She was appalled, but, looking back on some of her actions, she suddenly understood how her comments could have been taken the wrong way. She has since been very cautious with what she says around guys so this does not happen again.

Watch what you say. Watch how you say what you do say. Watch what you wear. Watch your eyes, so they do not wander. Watch your emotions so they do not deceive you. And, most importantly, watch God so you will stay on the right track.