Lies Wives Believe
A Satirical Look at Married Life
Archive for March, 2009
Shortness, tightness, and watch that cut!
Author: Lois Lane II
Ginger is a mother and a wife. She has her master’s degree and teaches at an area school. She reads the news, knows what trends are coming up, and takes her children to church. Her husband is known in the community, and they are the stereotypical family with a house, a dog, kids – everything but the white-picket fence. But there’s a flaw in this tale.
Ginger dresses like a tramp.
read comments (0)About Your Cooking
Author: MInTheGap
The truth is, he probably doesn’t cook at all. Sure, he can probably make peanut butter and jelly, but he’d be lost without you. And yet he may still joke about the way that you prepare a meal:
"You cook just like my mother used to." Really means….
"She used the smoke detector as a meal timer, too."
Seriously, if you’re the one that cooks in your house, I’m sure he realizes what a treasure he has. If not, I strongly suggest you go visit your mother for a weekend and make sure to take the credit cards and the cash. If he can’t get fast food, cereal only works for so long.
Keeping Your Daughter Pure Is Your Responsibility
Author: MInTheGap
When it comes to little girls, dads are an enigma. They are easily persuaded by them—and the love that they show to their dad. There is a weird set of feelings toward them—and they can easily be confused about whether they should protect them or be hands off.
Dad can easily leave a lot of the raising of his daughter to his wife—her mother—and expect that “since she’s a woman, she knows how to raise a woman, so why should I get involved.
And yet, like the dad in the picture, if a dad chooses not to get involved he might not do a good enough job conveying his perspective and providing the protection that he should be providing.
You see, it’s the father’s job to help his daughter not only know how to dress—and what her clothing says to others, but to teach her the value of purity and model what he wants the man that she someday will marry to look like.
How close is too close to the opposite sex?
Author: Lois Lane II
I’m always surprised when I hear women talking about guy pals, and this may just be me. But there’s always a nagging in the back of my mind when I hear girlfriends talking about going to lunch with or calling up their boy friends (two words, not one). And I wonder, “What does your husband think about this?”
How Do You Like My Driving?
Author: MInTheGap
One of the things that I’ve had to continually remind myself is that it’s no good getting in rush to be late to end up pulled over on the side of the road or worse—in the hospital because of an accident.
Still, it’s hard not to want to speed when you’re going to be late—and worse when you think going a little faster would be the difference of being late and being on time.
So, here’s where today’s lie comes in to play:
"We’re going to be late." Really means….
"Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac."
Journals
Author: Lois Lane II
I’ve mentioned before that I love Mark Driscoll’s podcasts. They are fantastic. If you haven’t checked them out, do so! You’ll really enjoy them.
Anyway, Mark mentioned keeping journals, detailing your spouse’s likes/dislikes/quirks/etc. And I was a bit miffed at myself.
Just How Much “Work” Does He Do?
Author: MInTheGap
I’m sure your husband feels that he does a lot of work, and I’m sure that he does, in his own way. The interesting thing in today’s lie is that there’s truth in both directions, and that there’s a difference in expectations.
"I got a lot done." Really means….
"I found ‘Waldo’ in almost every picture."
Getting More Exercise
Author: MInTheGap
We joke, but may people in America could stand to lose a few pounds. Odds are your husband is one of them.
The problem is laziness—and it’s funny what we’ll do in order to be lazy.
"I’m getting more exercise lately." Really means….
The batteries in the remote are dead."
Growing up in my house, we didn’t have a remote control—well we did, it was me.
Why does my hair even matter?
Author: Lois Lane II
I’ll never forget the day I cut my hair.
Drastically cut, I mean. I let my hair grow out in college, and for our wedding, it was a great length – not too long, but definitely past the shoulders.
Probably three weeks after my husband and I got married, I chopped it off. It was unintentional. I wanted something that hit right at the bottom of my neck, and, as I had a new home over an hour away from my former stylist, I decided to find another one.
BIG MISTAKE.