Lies Wives Believe

Watch what you watch

How many girls out there don’t like a good romance movie? You know your favorites, too: the one where the guy chases the girl, the guy gets the girl, the guy does something stupid, the girl runs, the guy chases her and proposes or does this super duper over-the-top romantic gesture that wins the girl back. These are the movies that you either go to with your girlfriends or drag your husbands along, promising to watch the next action flick with them.

We sigh when the handsome and dashing hero of the movie saves the girl or wins the girl, and we leave the theater in a complete romantic mood.

But Husband is not. He makes an off-hand comment in the parking lot, such as he’s hungry or he thought the hero of the movie was an idiot or he’s wondering if, after watching a movie, you’ll feel like enjoying marital relations. He speaks, and you respond – angrily. After all, didn’t he watch the movie? Isn’t he in that happily, wonderful, blissful mood? Why can’t he be more like the guy in the movie?

BAM!

Guys may be visual, but we women are emotional. We (for the most part, because I do know women out there who are not keen on romantic movies) love a good, sappy story with corniness and romance and chocolate and happiness – I reiterate, we love a good story.

Because that movie isn’t real. It’s Hollywood. Just like you tell yourself that that Vogue magazine cover of Angelina Jolie is airbrushed and therefore fake, you can’t possibly believe that the romantic movie you just watched could be real either, right?

I mentioned last week about comparing marriages and focused on actual people that week, but this week I want to cover what we watch. Romantic movies and TV shows are neatly compacted, written by talented storytellers, and have a happy ending that usually includes a wedding, proposal, or (unfortunately in our society) a decision to shack up. At any rate, it’s a decision to stay together.

I really don’t like movies that end this way. I want a movie to start off with a wedding and go through the ups and downs of marriages. I think a lot of girls, especially younger brides, have this vision in their head of their wedding being their “happy ever after.” They see a pretty ring on their finger, try on a pretty dress, and enjoy being the center of attention.

Honey, the wedding is just the beginning. But that’s a good thing.

I’m getting off slightly on another subject for another blog, but I do have a point, and I think a lot of women will probably not like this point. I think Hollywood is assaulting our men with visual images of nude/scantily clad women, but I think they are assaulting us with this emotional image of a perfect relationship that does not exist. I think we need to be aware of this and fight it.

I’m not saying that all romantic movies are bad. I’m saying you should realize that what you’re watching is a form of entertainment, and if you can’t separate your emotional feelings from the movie from your real life, then, no, I don’t think you should see that movie.

I didn’t realize this could affect my relationship with my husband until he brought it up one day. I can’t remember what we were talking about, but, basically, I was trying to make him like a character in a romantic movie I had just watched. “You know,” he said, “I’m a real person. I’m not some made-up guy you saw on TV.”

I was miffed. “I know that,” I argued.

“I don’t think you do,” Hubby replied. “I think you have a preconceived notion in your head of how I should act because you saw that movie. And that wasn’t real life. This is.”

That hit me hard, and I realized he was right. I was trying to live a fairy tale, like from The Little Mermaid or Snow White. I wanted my prince on a white horse to rescue me from whatever danger was befalling me, to whisk me in his arms, kiss me passionately, and then do everything my heart desired.

I didn’t marry a fairy tale prince. I married a real man – a man better than my imaginary prince. A man who believes in God, who holds on to truth, who helps me be a better person, and, on occasion, who rescues me from my own insecurities and failures and tells me he loves me.

So next time you go see a romantic movie, just keep it in perspective. That guy eye candy on the screen who says everything right and works a super-demanding job but still seems to have 48 hours in the day instead of 24 really does have that many hours – because he’s not real.

After all, it’s just a story.