Lies Wives Believe
A Satirical Look at Married Life
Archive for January, 2009
Submission Through Love
Author: MInTheGap
Noah’s on his way up the stairs. He just made a loud noise and Laura heard on a radio sermon that she should be submitting to her husband instead of bossing him around.
“OUCH!” Noah screams from the top of the stairs. “I can’t do this! I’m simply worn out, and that job is too dangerous to do when I’m tired.” He’s clutching his hand.
Remembering what she just heard on the radio, and seeing the look on Noah’s face, Laura decides diplomacy is the right course of action.
read comments (0)I Need To Be Like a Man
Author: MInTheGap
One of the foundational lies that wives believe centers on the fact of what women are. As long as wives believe the following, they will never have fruitful relationships or joy:
[M]en are smarter, have all the power, and are more important, so if we want to have influence we should be more like them – Sheri Dew [Hat Tip: A Good Husband]
This is one of the core tenants of the modern feminist movement. Rather than glorying in what women and wives are, the feminists focused rather on looking at what men are and fell for the lie that if they were more like them, then they could experience the freedom that they believe men enjoyed.
It’s the “grass is always greener on the other side of the fence” all over again.
Distraction
Author: MInTheGap
Many times in marriage the husband or wife is going to do something that the other one didn’t know about. And the thing that they did might not necessarily be bad—it may be that he brought her flowers as a surprise!—but it will be unexpected—they didn’t have the $10 in the account and she knew it.
In the times that the thing that was done was self-serving, instead of others serving, men may attempt to use a form of distraction to keep the wife from freaking out:
Surprises/Ways to communicate
Author: Lois Lane II
I am very lucky that my husband and I work at places that allow us to call each other at any given time – or, if not call, at least text message or instant message via Yahoo! Instant messenger. Throughout the day, we IM each other, ask each other how the day is going, chat about what to do for lunch…it’s not much, but it’s enough conversation that both of us feel together more during the day.
But what about the couples who are teachers or who cannot communicate throughout the day? I actually have a suggestion for that, too.
God Says, Let The Husband Lead
Author: MInTheGap
When we last left Laura and Noah, Laura was telling Noah that he should go down and get to work on a project that was overdo.
Begrudgingly, Noah gets up from his dinner and heads into the basement to get to work. With a satisfied look on her face, Laura finishes her meal, takes the plates over to the counter and rolls up her sleeves to get to work on the dishes
“Men—why can’t he get to fixing this dishwasher,” she wonders aloud. “I guess I shouldn’t complain when he’s that far behind! I don’t know what he’d do without me!”
Do The Finances Together
Author: MInTheGap
When last we left Tricia and Laura they were discussing who in the family should do the finances—should it just be one person, or both.
“The truth is,” Tricia started, “That different people have different skills—you and Adam are supposed to compliment each other.”
“I know, but shouldn’t I be concerned?”
“You do the budget together, right?”
“Well, we’ve talked about having a budget, but—“
“But nothing. If you don’t have a budget then you don’t know where your money is going. If you don’t know where it’s going, you’re asking for debt. I come up with Adam’s budget for his detective business, and he has to stick to it—that’s part of the reason we’re in the black!”
“That’s true, you do a good job.”
What Do You Mean, “Good Idea?”
Author: MInTheGap
A lot of times, husbands are bad at communication. If we’re not merely muttering that we acknowledge what you’re saying, then we’re giving you sarcastic comebacks. It’s something that we need to grow and be trained out of. Seriously, communication is an art form, it’s something that grows between two people over time with use.
That’s why this latest piece of Husband Speak points right to the issue:
"Good idea." Really means….
"It’ll never work. And I’ll spend the rest of the day gloating."
The Challenge
Author: Lois Lane II
“Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” — 1 Corinthians 7:5
As accepted as premarital sex has become in our culture, I think that’s as far as the opposite direction as a lot of Christians are with talking about it.
The Wife Should Lead?
Author: MInTheGap
Laura noticed a set of invoices on Noah’s desk as she was cleaning. It appeared that Noah had more work than he could possibly accomplish. Good in the sense that the economy was down. Bad, because he’s been coming up later for dinner every night, and she’s heard more phone calls than normal.
As he comes up for dinner late one Thursday night Laura starts…
“Honey, do you know that this id overdue?” She asks, producing an invoice from the table.
Who Should Do The Finances?
Author: MInTheGap
Adam was sitting down at the computer, his financial application open as he consulted the receipts that had piled up on the desk. Tracy walked in, and started talking, “I put in the receipts for my trip to the baby doctor yesterday, but I wasn’t quite sure what’s going on.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, I know that you set something up to save money for our bills, but it looks like there’s nothing in there.”
“Well, it’s true, but we have money in there, so you can just use money that’s in the checking account.”
She nodded, but not having a good enough grasp on what was really going on, she decided that—rather than looking silly for not understanding—she’d pretend to know and leave the finances to Adam.