Lies Wives Believe

Trusting through trials

Trials will come in marriage. They do. They’re like the unwanted houseguest (think your in-laws…lol) that come over unannounced and stay for as long as they like.

Hubby and I each have gone through our own personal trials. One of my biggest hurdles to overcome was, frankly, getting kicked out of grad school (TECHNICALLY, I was not kicked out, but I was asked to consider other options). I felt like a failure, and I had no idea how much I wallowed in self-loathing for an entire year before everything burst open like a dam. I remember the day well; it was in the summer, and Hubby and I were driving down the backroads one Sunday afternoon. And… the dam burst.

I don’t know what started it or what set me off, but I just remember crying in the car (as Hubby looked on, stunned) and just letting everything pour out – my shortcomings in my previous classes, my failures, my sense of despair. The crazy thing is that everything worked out so well later on. I attended another university, got a master’s in something I actually ENJOYED, and now teach at an area university. I would not be where I am today if it were not for that.

But I didn’t know that at the time. I just felt like I had disappointed Hubby – and I told him that.

And I’ll never forget what he said to me that day: “This is not your fault,” he said. “You were under so much pressure. And, yeah, you made a couple of Cs. Big deal. Who cares? I love you. I can’t believe you’ve felt this way so long. Why haven’t you told me? I could have cleared this up.”

Communication

I was shocked. I couldn’t believe he could not see all of my failures the way I did. The thing was, though, he saw them for what they really were: tiny little hurdles to overcome with his support and with God’s. Why hadn’t I seen that all along?

God always has a plan for you and your spouse. I’m very happy at my current job and plan to pursue a Ph.D., but if God has another plan, so be it. We are content to follow His will – because we’ve learned from experience what happens when you don’t.

Both of you have to trust in God, but there’s something else that works in a marriage – you have to trust each other. And when you trust someone wholly… Well, that just makes for a wonderful life, indeed.

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